Katherine Chang Du Plessis is a 34-year-old widow who helped her husband, Kevin Du Plessis, battle stage four testicular cancer for over two years until he passed away on April 22, 2022 at 38 years old. Since he passed, Katherine has continued trying to live the “simple life” that her and Kevin built together in Alameda, California, which includes owning a local surf shop, doing things that make her happy, and raising their 3-year-old son, Cody. Even a year after Kevin’s passing, Katherine continues to struggle with her own grief, her child’s grief, and letting go of her husband.

The brick and mortar surf shop, Live Simply Surf, was Kevin’s dream when he immigrated from South Africa to Alameda, California. He taught Katherine everything she knows about surfing and owning a business. “It’s like he was preparing me to run this shop,” Katherine said. As Katherine navigated challenges with her emotions, her son, and the shop, she found comfort in continuing to run the shop Kevin always dreamed of. Katherine said, “It gives me purpose. Something for Cody to remember and to live on Kevin’s legacy.”

The shop is only open Thursday through Sunday from 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. and is Katherine’s only job, which leaves her plenty of time to spend time with the most important part of her life, her son. “In Asian culture, family is most important. Taking care of each other is how you show them you love them. We don’t say I love you.” Katherine and Kevin were unsure if they were going to be able to have children when they got married because Kevin had testicular cancer 12 years before he passed. He was in remission when they met, but he only had one testicle. Katherine said the doctors tried to encourage saving sperm, but she that if it happened, it happened. When they found out she was pregnant with Cody, they were so excited. ‘He’s like our little miracle baby,” Katherine said.

“The mom group, family, and the surfer guys helped me get through. They helped me when I needed help. They were there just to be there, and they were people that were around when Kevin was around,” Katherine said. Their community was a big part of Katherine’s journey after Kevin’s death. She was able to have support and not go through her grief alone. “Everyone’s a family,” Katherine said. On June 4, 2023, over a year after Kevin’s passing, Katherine decided to have a paddle out to remember Kevin’s life at Robert W. Crown Memorial State Beach.

Katherine didn’t have a service when Kevin passed, so the paddle out was her way of hosting a service for him. She brought Kevin’s ashes, so he could be there with them and she is holding as she thanks everyone for coming. Her and her son, along with family and friends, paddled out into the ocean on paddle boards in remembrance of him. “When you do a service, it’s like letting go. It’s like ripping a bandaid off. I’m not the kinda of person that wants to rip it off fast. I didn’t want to rip it off when it wasn’t ready,” Katherine said.

Katherine fidgets with her necklace that she had made with Kevin’s ashes, so he will always be with her.

Katherine and her son visit the memorial table that they picked out for him, so they could have picnics with him when they wanted. “When Kevin’s cancer spread and he became paralyzed, we used to do picnics in bed. Cody really remembers those minor details, so he likes to do picnics with daddy,” Katherine said.

Katherine created a table to keep the memory of Kevin alive within their home. Katherine said, “One thing I miss about Kevin, we talk a lot about what’s wrong with the world. That’s why I made his table the way I made it. He’s still there. It doesn’t feel as lonely.”

“It’s like losing half your body and half your heart and not being able to function,” Katherine said, “We’re like twin flames. Soulmates. We understand each other. We are one with each other. I don’t wanna find someone else.” Katherine sits alone in her living room, in the pillow corner, where her and her son go when they’re getting emotional.

Katherine hasn’t done a deep clean of her home since Kevin passed over a year ago. “Cleaning was a family thing. And with the cancer, everything was just pushed aside,” Katherine said, “If I cleaned, I would lose that memory of him. There’s a lot of things that we kept alive here. Cleaning is erasing those things.” However, after the paddle out, she felt like could start to get control over her life and spent a whole day cleaning her home.

Even though Kevin’s passing has been hard on Katherine and her son, she still tries to live her simple life and focus on the joy that life brings. “That’s one thing I learned from Kevin is doing things that make you happy.” Katherine said.